i don't like sucking hair
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Welp...herpes.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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