Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
