Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
