turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize