and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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