You just made me feel so damn special
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
