Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
