Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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