he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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