just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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