Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize