Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
