I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
not ubering you a puppy
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