Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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