you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
