i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
