He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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