he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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