we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
I love us.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs