They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
They have beer where we have blood.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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