Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
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It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
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The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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