U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
