We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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