she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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