sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
