I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
