Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
