I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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