OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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