I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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