So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize