update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
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I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
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How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
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