belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
