I accidentally had phone sex last night
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
