weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
