There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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