how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM