One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list