I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Terrible idea I love it
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
