Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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