I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
