I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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