that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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