if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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