You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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