if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
