Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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