i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
