That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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