Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
