Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We are two peas in an std pod
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
