i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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