I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
