Apparently you make a good broom.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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