I molested 6 butterflies tonight
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
