Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
No more Irish car bombs ever.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
