We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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