do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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