I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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