dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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