apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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