You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
