Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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