If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
