Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
