Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
