so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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