barbara walters just said penis...
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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